hunting season.

I hate hunting.

I get the point of it and all that so I don't publicly bash on it (although sometimes I'd like to, especially when people post their photos of dead deer on the FB, I mean seriously I don't want to effin see it jackass!).

Anyways, besides the picturing innocent animals getting their lives taken at gun point....I really hate it because it kinda upsets my outdoor adventuring.

Although, it does mean me and my dog get to match day in and day out (hunter orange, woot woot!)....it also means we get to totally blow up hunter's hot spots on a regular basis as we trudge through the woods.

But the best thing about this hunting season is that the baby fawn colored cow on my road gets to wear a sweet ass orange colored neckwarmer.

pee brain.

In the woods, like all the time.

If I'm headed somewhere and it hits me, on the side of the road.

In parking lots, on beaches, at soccer fields.

If there is a hold up at someone's house, a backyard.

Which one time in college, I was headed back from a party and stopped to pop a squat in a yard, because quite honestly I wasn't going to make it back, and as I was peeing someone inside the house threw on the outside lights.

Peeing in the spotlight, not amazing.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and bring my dog outside, it will strike like lightening, and I swear there will be no way I will make it back up my stairs to the bathroom, so I pop a squat in my own yard.

I know, I'm fucking classy.

But really, I just don't care.

If I have to go, I'm gonna go.

So as I was out hiking yesterday, and I hadn't seen anyone in nearly 2 hours, it hit. 

I've got to pee.

So with a quick glance either way down the trail, I popped a squat.

Boom, hello silent bicyclists appearing from no where.

There was clearly no way to cover up what I was doing.

So I just chirped a quick hello, which they proceeded to ignore, and everyone continued on their merry way.

It's a good thing running into those people in the future is seriously unlikely.

the lost valley.

We received a freak Halloween snowstorm.

Well really, it was before Halloween, but that's just specifics people.

Anyways, it was snowing like crazy - and me and my Momma-dukes got stuck out on the roads after running errands.

By stuck I mean a 40 minute drive took 2+ hours.

I ended up having to call my landpeople's son to come meet us because my Moms was nervous she wouldn't make it down my road.

It was an excellent choice as he needed to plow the way down the road to get me home.

So I got home, bundled up and decided to take a quick trip with my dog down the road.

Off we went - him gloriously happy about the thickening snow and me happily trotting behind him.

Then we turned back, we got to the end of my driveway and SNAAAAAP, whiiiip, blackness.

I hope you appreciated those written sounds.

A tree snapped directly in front of me.

The whiiiip was the wire falling down too.

And the blackness, well, not really a sound but everything went black, ya know?

So I took my headlamp and looked down.

The freaking live wire missed me by approximately 1 foot.

1 foot, people.

And then that wire nearly started a fire, but the snow was coming down too heavy.

I booked it for the house.

Clearly not my apartment.

This called for drastic measures.

I moved into my landpeople's home, because it was warm.  Wood stove warm.

The following morning, me and my dog went for a trip down the road to check out the situation.

The situation looked like a tornado barreled through our little valley and everything was covered in snow.

Chainsaws rock my world.

So do the gentlemen on my road who chainsawed our way out.

The wires, well.

We are all driving over them at this point.

Facebook friends are all status posting about these electric trucks, town vehicles, and army trucks.

We've seen none of this in the valley.

NONE.

It's likely to be a couple weeks before we re-gain power.

I mean seriously, the entire road is gonna need to be re-wired.

But I will say I have a new found respect for generators.

A neighbor lent us theirs after a few days.

GLORIOUS.