I am a size zero.
And in years past, I've struggled with my body. But right now, I could care less about my pant size, it means nothing to me. I mean, I don’t even own a scale and haven’t in years.
But it recently dawned on me that I wear oversized articles of clothing or multiple layers to hide my body.
When I go shopping with family or friends, I always try on and buy bigger sizes so no one notices that I’m as small as I am.
I realized that my only concern after being invited to an end of summer bash, was knowing I would have to be in a bathing suit in front of a large group of people. I mean seriously, I spent 4 days fretting over which bathing suit would be the most appropriate and would draw the least amount of looks.
For a girl that doesn’t care about what size she is, it’s embarrassing that I feel the need to hide it. That people staring at my slim (and muscular!) frame, makes me uncomfortable.
I mean if I don’t care, why am I worried what others’ think?
I’m done with the nonsense.
I mean in all seriousness I’m proud of what my body is capable of.
I’m constantly on the go. I’m constantly testing my physical abilities.
While I’m tiny, slim, petite, scrawny – or whatever you want to call it, I’m actually all muscle, and I’m proud of that. I've worked for that.
So without further adieu, what size zero means to me:
· It means that I combat train 4 evenings a week. I truly feel that the ability to defend oneself is one of the most important things there is. I’m tiny but fierce.
· It means that I hike EVERY SINGLE DAY, aka I can haul my buns up mountains without batting an eye.
· It means I can cut and stack several cords of wood each year.
· It means that I’ll go to the gym at 6AM on Saturday mornings because I have a friend who will push me to lift weights & do things I never thought I was physically capable of.
· It means I’ll hop on the back of a 2000 pound horse I’m training, and not flinch over any bucking or rearing because I’m confident with the strength of my core.
· It means I’ll spend an entire summer day haying fields with friends – 1600 bales to be exact.
· It means that when my 90 pound dog cuts open his foot out in the woods, I'm completely capable of carrying him back down the trail to my car.
· It means I can do 70 push-ups and real deal actual straight arm pull-ups.
In case you wanted to know, strong is the new skinny.
And all size zero means to me is strong.
