out loud.

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you.

Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it...."

Roald Dahl

Even when I'm all sorts of low, I still believe in magic.

Now I just have to trust in the discovery of an unlikely place holding onto a secret.

friday favorites.

Team struggles all over again. 

Limerence damn you.

Must practice ambivalence.

Thankfully internet browsing and stumbling on some amazing finds still puts a smile on my face.

I love elephants.  I love that this elephant orphanage is doing the work that it's doing and is so successful.  Quite honestly, I would love to pick up, move there with my dog, and be a part of something that amazing.  This photo, taken from National Geographic Photo of the day, moves me.  Like I said, I LOVE elephants. 

Another National Geographic photo of the day, this time of the morning fog in the Adirondacks.  WANT TO GO THERE.

Donuts.  Yum and fucking YUM.  The best donuts in America, don't mind if I do.

It's no secret I dig the stars.  So, the top places to sleep under the stars is like an article written as a gift.  I want to sleep at them all!

Portraits created without a paintbrush.  Super cool, the artist kisses the canvas with lipstick on to create these.  She also had some using thumbprints.  Check out the link.

Road trip to NY while he's filming a movie....any takers?

While team struggles isn't an unusual status for me as of the last few years, I've really kind of had it with it.  I need to do a major over-haul of me.  Simply:

friday favorites.

I'm in a fantabulous mood - as I often am after epiphanies and mornings filled with radient sunshine and mellow temperatures.

So dance like you mean it & here are my fave finds from the past week.

Ironic that I stumbled upon that quote today - and my daily single horoscope is:

Be open to change.  Half the fun of being single is trying out different things and having new experiences.  Throw caution to the wind and do the unexpected.  Don't ask permission to have some fun.

As I was strolling along this morning, with a beaming smile on my face, it dawned on me that seriously every single day you should do something that makes you happy and that you absolutely love.  You can't risk waiting for tomorrow, besides what is the point of waiting?  At least make a point of having a piece of each day so completely totally worth it.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream, OBV.  Who doesn't love ice cream, honestly?  America's best ice cream cities, yes & please.

Ryan Gosling, I've said it before and I'll say it again....can we please have an unexpected encounter and fall uncontrollably in love?  Please?

This article was forwarded to me by my Executive Director, By Helping a Girl Testify at a Rape Trial, a Dog Ignites a Legal Debate.  I think allowing a dog in the courtroom to help a trauma victim testify is an amazing thing.

I know I have mentioned the meteor shower thing a couple of times, but boom: I'm bringing it up again.  Perseid meteor shower, high action tonight.  Check it out if you can.

I'm a HUGE Kate Moss fan.  And I didn't post about her wedding admist all the hustle and bustle of it, but I stumbled upon this picture today and I must include it here.

I love that some animals are monogamous for life, penguins for example.  It just makes me happy to know that.  And well, bing had a background of another monogamous species: the adorable Damara dik-dik.

Bing had another stunner with this one of the Palouse Hills in Washington State.



New shopping site alert!  Sosie, amazzzing find.  Check it out.

Alright, so how is it I didn't know about this until 50 days in?!  Read this story of a large female gray whale that has now resided in Northern California's Klamath River for 50 days.  She had a calf with her originally, but the calf has since left and swam out to the ocean.  If you want to see additional photos, check out this blog.  This is a great shot, but also check out the one of the paddleboarder who played ukelele to her.

A National Geographic Photo of the Day is my final find.  The photo was taken by Stephanie Sinclair.  The caption beneath the photo is what really struck a chord:

Nujood Ali was ten when she fled her abusive, much older husband and took a taxi to the courthouse in Sanaa, Yemen.  The girl's courageous act—and the landmark legal battle that ensued—turned her into an international heroine for women's rights.  Now divorced, she is back home with her family and attending school again.

Ten years old and ready and willing to stand up for herself.  I love that she looks as happy as she does here, she deserves that.

Enjoy your weekend friends!

limerence.

From Wikipedia:

Limerence is a term coined by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe an involuntary state of mind which seems to result from a romantic attraction for another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated.  Limerence is sometimes also interpreted as infactuation, or what is colloquially known as a crush; but is really something quite different.

Limerence basically is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love, even to the point of addictive-type behavior.  Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone. Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by nonlimerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.

I had never heard of limerence before, but it's as if it's a term to define my normal state of mind.

Thank you life after college for re-visiting this post so I more properly understood where my head is at most of the time.

Like I've stated before, I live in fantasy-land/my happy little bubble 99.9% of the time.  I plug along, completely indifferent to the unfortunate occurrences in the real world.  But I'm happy as I am, so I'm down with continuing on this way.

The unfortunate thing that does happen, and I do not like, is where I meet someone and create this happily-ever-after fantasy future, even if I don't actually know this individual, and when it doesn't happen as I imagined I get in a weird-funk sort of state.

I never knew that there was an actual term for this behavior; limerence - aka a brain fueled with fantasy.  Which is an amazing thing most of the time, except when it represents what we want but aren't going to have.

Components of Limerence (from Wikipedia):

Limerence involves intrusive thinking, acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, unsettling shyness in the limerent object’s presence, and in cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.

A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably.  This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent “reasonable” explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.

A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background.  In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.

Was I just described in a nutshell, well yes, yes I was.

I have a tendency to become overwhelmed with a longing or a passion for someone often imagining that it must be reciprocated.  I tend to cling to the scraps that are offered and take them as more than what they probaly were intended to be.  I also cling to those scraps when in reality I know I deserve more than just those left-over pieces.  And I pretty regularly forget other concerns/responsibilities when I get all wrapped up in a new fantasy.

Now that I have found an official definition, I need to figure out a way to stop this over-played scenario in my life, and avoid the awful after-funk.

I need to not settle for fantasy, all of the time.

But then the question arises, is fantasy actually settling?  Or is it creating something fantastical that maybe one day I could potentially have? 

So do I in fact need to settle with the disappointment, or funk, that is associated with my fantasties?

Because I'm not sure I can properly eliminate my fantasy world.  A. it would be waaay to drastic and B.  I LOVE my happy bubble.

Clearly there is some happy balance I have yet to achieve.

But hold on just a moment....

This epiphany would not be complete without the exploration of my other typical behavior.

The oh I've created a wonderful dreamlike future with this other individual but the second it is actually, in real life, reciprocated I run for the hills faster than you can say kemosabe.

Once someone turns around and shows a genuine interest I have a history of beating feet.

How is this possible?

I create a bubblicious fantasy, it has the possibility of actually being a reality, and I run?!

Yes, yes I do.

I am terrified of letting myself let go and being completely me and allowing someone to be a part of that.

I am comfortable living as just me and my dog.  I'm happy in our bubble.

But there must be a balance of this fantasy world and minimizing actual risk so as to stop me from running.

There must be.

And I can't possibly be the only one seeking for it.

friday favorites.

My dog ripped open his toenail.

I dropped my river swimming phone, that miraculously turned on after sitting in a bag of rice for a few days, and the power button casually broke.

I dropped a seriously heavy wooden ottoman on my toe and quite honestly thought I broke it.

I love tapped a brick wall with my Jeep, after assuming I had the room for a turn which I didn't, clearly evident by the nice scratched up dent on my bumper.

That's been my week thus far.

Let's skip that junk and move ahead to my faves.

One of the places I want to travel to most of all is Africa.  For so many reasons I can't even begin to explain.  I'm digging this photo of the day shot from National Geographic.  The cheetah, named Juba, has a broken leg so is resting up.

I know I already mentioned this Le Love blog on my post on Wednesday, but I'm revisiting it.  There was a post on risk and I just want to throw an excerpt from the post out there.

"Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let her whole life pass, Belle fell in love with a beast, Pocahontas risked her life for a feast, Jasmine could have had anyone but she chose a poor man, and Ariel, she walked on land."

So many people dislike fairytales because it makes us believe in love, believe that a prince will swoop down and save us when something goes wrong. But I’ve come to realise that in every fairytale-like movie, every girl took a risk. Took a risk for love, took a risk in the name of love.

I struggle with the risk bit, because I have zero desire of putting myself in a position of providing someone with the ability to hurt me.

and another Le Love (like I said, I spent a good chunk of time on there the other day!).  This time just an image from a post because it's just so damn true:

New shopping site alert!  Check out Thread Sence, asap.

49 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life.  Yes, please.

Over a year ago I was on a flight back home from Vegas and I happened to be sitting next to a supremely nice Boston cop.  After lots of discussion on all sorts of things, he mentioned cruises.  Now, I generally would think I would not like a cruise.  But his thoughts on it kind of intruiged me.  I guess it would depend on where the cruise was going and how much flexibility I would have in terms of doing lots and lots of things, on whether or not I would be down with one (aka I'm not lay by the pool and soak up the sun on vacay type of chica).  This week I happened to find this article, on the world's most scenic cruises.  Now I'm kind of thinking a cruise would be a great way to see a number of different things all on one trip.

Dr. Suess, love him and he has so many quotes that are so applicable.  One of my personal faves:

Being crazy isn't enough.

Because it's not.

Finally, I just need to acknowledge this sculpture. 

Enjoy your weekend readers!

squirrel eater.

Almost like man eater, but way more epic.

So when I first moved to my little on the outskirts town, I slowly managed to get to know the neighbors.

One of whom was this older man (think like 85ish) named Girard.

Girard is a character to say the least.

I would see him when I was out walking and generally I would stop for a chit chat, doing the friendly neighbor thing.  I mean I figured he was probaly lonely, would like to hear some chatter, and say hi to my dog.

Eventually he asked me to sit down for a cup of coffee some day at the local pizza parlor.

By local, I mean a nearby town as we don't have any pizza parlors.

Also, I've never heard of coffee at a pizza place, but I suppose that's irrelevant.

I told him that would be nice, maybe a day in the future would work out, and left it at that.

He mentioned it several more times when I saw him in passing and I really thought nothing of it.

Until one day I saw a car pull up into my driveway. 

No fucking way, that's Girard.

I closed my eyes and hoped maybe he had something else to do in the yard.

No such luck.

I heard the steady clunking up my stairs and then the knock at my door.

Oh, hi Twiggy.  I wanted to stop by to talk to you.

Alright, what's up, how are you?

Listen, I want to withdraw my invitation to coffee.  You see, I'm concerned you might get the wrong idea and really I'm just too old for you.

Ohh, umm.  Right, sure, ok.

End of convo, steady clunk clunk away.

Wrong idea?  Seriously.  Like I said, he's in his mid to late 80s.  I'm fucking 26.

Anyways recently I sat down with my landpeople and I mentioned the conversation which in turn led into a discussion of Girard.

I knew that he lived down by the river in a single family home that he inherited from his parents.

But I didn't know that apparently the water does not work, so he collects rain water in order to bathe in the kitchen sink. 

I also didn't know that there are mice that run rampant through his house which supposedly reeks of propane. 

And best of all, he is a seasonal eater.

Like he shoots squirrels out in back of his house to eat when it's squirrel season.

I didn't know there was a squirrel season.

Mildly disturbed, can you say yes.

Like I said, I'm a nutter and I embrace that description.  But squirrel eating is taking things a bit too far.

friends.

I stumbled upon this Le Love blog today.  I know it's probaly something I should have shared on my Friday faves, but I couldn't wait that long. 


It's that good.


After distracting myself from work for a pretty steep amount of time, and pouring over the images, quotes, and stories, I stumbled onto this entry on best friends.


While I'm sure you don't all click the links I provide, you should check this one out. 


But if you don't feel inclined (sigh, disappointment from my end), here's an excerpt:


this one goes out to all the best friends in the world. The ones that smile for you when you excitedly fall in love with some new, unknown boy. The ones that sit through a pack of cigarettes with you at two to five in the morning listening to you cry about said boy who cheated on you even though they've got to be up at six for work. The ones that take time off work / school just for a little naughty afternoon shopping and eating on weekday. The ones who drag you to social events just to distract you from a broken heart. The ones who respond to every facebook, every twitter status update, just so you don't feel so alone and ignored. The ones who recognize you have a right to feel as shitty as you do about the boy who hurt you even though they'd spent the last two years telling you he was nothing but trash, the ones who don't tell you you're a fool, the ones who tell you you've a right to hurt. Because they're also the ones who have the strength and the love enough to tell you to snap out of it, that he was never worth it, because they're also the ones who have the courage to be honest enough to tell you you'd be a fool to take the manipulative creep back.

and furthermore:


Friends never betray each other. We fight, sometimes. We disagree. We laugh at each other. But friends, friends are something else altogether. Friends are God's way of saying: here, I know it's tough trying to find your soulmate, but here are some other people you know for sure you can count on forever. They're like family, but better because they love you without the moral obligation attached.

I don't tell my friends enough how grateful I am to have them.


But I am grateful.


I'm beyond lucky to have the friends I do.