out loud.

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you.

Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it...."

Roald Dahl

Even when I'm all sorts of low, I still believe in magic.

Now I just have to trust in the discovery of an unlikely place holding onto a secret.

friday favorites.

Team struggles all over again. 

Limerence damn you.

Must practice ambivalence.

Thankfully internet browsing and stumbling on some amazing finds still puts a smile on my face.

I love elephants.  I love that this elephant orphanage is doing the work that it's doing and is so successful.  Quite honestly, I would love to pick up, move there with my dog, and be a part of something that amazing.  This photo, taken from National Geographic Photo of the day, moves me.  Like I said, I LOVE elephants. 

Another National Geographic photo of the day, this time of the morning fog in the Adirondacks.  WANT TO GO THERE.

Donuts.  Yum and fucking YUM.  The best donuts in America, don't mind if I do.

It's no secret I dig the stars.  So, the top places to sleep under the stars is like an article written as a gift.  I want to sleep at them all!

Portraits created without a paintbrush.  Super cool, the artist kisses the canvas with lipstick on to create these.  She also had some using thumbprints.  Check out the link.

Road trip to NY while he's filming a movie....any takers?

While team struggles isn't an unusual status for me as of the last few years, I've really kind of had it with it.  I need to do a major over-haul of me.  Simply:

friday favorites.

I'm in a fantabulous mood - as I often am after epiphanies and mornings filled with radient sunshine and mellow temperatures.

So dance like you mean it & here are my fave finds from the past week.

Ironic that I stumbled upon that quote today - and my daily single horoscope is:

Be open to change.  Half the fun of being single is trying out different things and having new experiences.  Throw caution to the wind and do the unexpected.  Don't ask permission to have some fun.

As I was strolling along this morning, with a beaming smile on my face, it dawned on me that seriously every single day you should do something that makes you happy and that you absolutely love.  You can't risk waiting for tomorrow, besides what is the point of waiting?  At least make a point of having a piece of each day so completely totally worth it.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream, OBV.  Who doesn't love ice cream, honestly?  America's best ice cream cities, yes & please.

Ryan Gosling, I've said it before and I'll say it again....can we please have an unexpected encounter and fall uncontrollably in love?  Please?

This article was forwarded to me by my Executive Director, By Helping a Girl Testify at a Rape Trial, a Dog Ignites a Legal Debate.  I think allowing a dog in the courtroom to help a trauma victim testify is an amazing thing.

I know I have mentioned the meteor shower thing a couple of times, but boom: I'm bringing it up again.  Perseid meteor shower, high action tonight.  Check it out if you can.

I'm a HUGE Kate Moss fan.  And I didn't post about her wedding admist all the hustle and bustle of it, but I stumbled upon this picture today and I must include it here.

I love that some animals are monogamous for life, penguins for example.  It just makes me happy to know that.  And well, bing had a background of another monogamous species: the adorable Damara dik-dik.

Bing had another stunner with this one of the Palouse Hills in Washington State.



New shopping site alert!  Sosie, amazzzing find.  Check it out.

Alright, so how is it I didn't know about this until 50 days in?!  Read this story of a large female gray whale that has now resided in Northern California's Klamath River for 50 days.  She had a calf with her originally, but the calf has since left and swam out to the ocean.  If you want to see additional photos, check out this blog.  This is a great shot, but also check out the one of the paddleboarder who played ukelele to her.

A National Geographic Photo of the Day is my final find.  The photo was taken by Stephanie Sinclair.  The caption beneath the photo is what really struck a chord:

Nujood Ali was ten when she fled her abusive, much older husband and took a taxi to the courthouse in Sanaa, Yemen.  The girl's courageous act—and the landmark legal battle that ensued—turned her into an international heroine for women's rights.  Now divorced, she is back home with her family and attending school again.

Ten years old and ready and willing to stand up for herself.  I love that she looks as happy as she does here, she deserves that.

Enjoy your weekend friends!

limerence.

From Wikipedia:

Limerence is a term coined by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe an involuntary state of mind which seems to result from a romantic attraction for another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated.  Limerence is sometimes also interpreted as infactuation, or what is colloquially known as a crush; but is really something quite different.

Limerence basically is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love, even to the point of addictive-type behavior.  Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone. Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by nonlimerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.

I had never heard of limerence before, but it's as if it's a term to define my normal state of mind.

Thank you life after college for re-visiting this post so I more properly understood where my head is at most of the time.

Like I've stated before, I live in fantasy-land/my happy little bubble 99.9% of the time.  I plug along, completely indifferent to the unfortunate occurrences in the real world.  But I'm happy as I am, so I'm down with continuing on this way.

The unfortunate thing that does happen, and I do not like, is where I meet someone and create this happily-ever-after fantasy future, even if I don't actually know this individual, and when it doesn't happen as I imagined I get in a weird-funk sort of state.

I never knew that there was an actual term for this behavior; limerence - aka a brain fueled with fantasy.  Which is an amazing thing most of the time, except when it represents what we want but aren't going to have.

Components of Limerence (from Wikipedia):

Limerence involves intrusive thinking, acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, unsettling shyness in the limerent object’s presence, and in cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.

A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably.  This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent “reasonable” explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.

A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background.  In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.

Was I just described in a nutshell, well yes, yes I was.

I have a tendency to become overwhelmed with a longing or a passion for someone often imagining that it must be reciprocated.  I tend to cling to the scraps that are offered and take them as more than what they probaly were intended to be.  I also cling to those scraps when in reality I know I deserve more than just those left-over pieces.  And I pretty regularly forget other concerns/responsibilities when I get all wrapped up in a new fantasy.

Now that I have found an official definition, I need to figure out a way to stop this over-played scenario in my life, and avoid the awful after-funk.

I need to not settle for fantasy, all of the time.

But then the question arises, is fantasy actually settling?  Or is it creating something fantastical that maybe one day I could potentially have? 

So do I in fact need to settle with the disappointment, or funk, that is associated with my fantasties?

Because I'm not sure I can properly eliminate my fantasy world.  A. it would be waaay to drastic and B.  I LOVE my happy bubble.

Clearly there is some happy balance I have yet to achieve.

But hold on just a moment....

This epiphany would not be complete without the exploration of my other typical behavior.

The oh I've created a wonderful dreamlike future with this other individual but the second it is actually, in real life, reciprocated I run for the hills faster than you can say kemosabe.

Once someone turns around and shows a genuine interest I have a history of beating feet.

How is this possible?

I create a bubblicious fantasy, it has the possibility of actually being a reality, and I run?!

Yes, yes I do.

I am terrified of letting myself let go and being completely me and allowing someone to be a part of that.

I am comfortable living as just me and my dog.  I'm happy in our bubble.

But there must be a balance of this fantasy world and minimizing actual risk so as to stop me from running.

There must be.

And I can't possibly be the only one seeking for it.