whirl-wind.

Ups & downs, galore.

Let's begin with last week.

I went on an interview with my dog for volunteering on a children's unit.

Following the interview, me and my sister went out and got sandwiches for dinner, ice cream for dessert, and took a stroll on the beach.

Which was the best stroll ever, considering it was my dog's first time on the beach.  HILARIOUS. 

He had a flippin' ball.  Running in fear from the waves and attempting sprinting while sinking in the sand.  The two of us almost peed our pants laughing.

The next morning he woke up, and couldn't eat, drink, or open his mouth.

That afternoon we had an emergency vet visit.

Which led to the scheduling of emergency mouth surgery the following morning.

He had an infected abscess in the back left side of his mouth.  He was a sorry case, let me tell you.

And then yes, 8 pills a day for a dog that just had mouth surgery.  Now that effing makes a girl's life simple.

He got to the point of refusing to take anything I offered.  In fact he wouldn't even come near my hands.

He went a few days refusing food entirely, so then we re-supplied on pain meds, and we are slowly making a come-back.

On-to Saturday night.

My sister was going to be attending a photo-shoot and asked if I wanted to come along and hang out.

Mmm, ok.  Sure

So we went to this artist's studio, who was fucking amazing, honestly it was stop you in your tracks paintings.

We hung out with a few other girls, had some wine, and then the conversation suddenly turned to including me in the photos.  Pray-tell what?  Mind you I strolled in in jeans, moccasins, and a simple tee.  These girls were in their heels and dresses.  Fantastic, I fit right in, obv.

So I drank some more wine and said, sure I'd give it a go.  So I put on an extra black dress my sister had packed, another girl's heels, and had my make-up done up.

Then I was pulled in front of the camera for a shot with the artist who asked me to look up at him, and then kissed me.

KISSED ME I TELL YOU.  AND HELD IT FOR PHOTOS.

FUCK, what did I get myself into.

Mind you the artist was in his mid-late 50s, if not 60s.

The night was a whirl-wind of adventure.  My sister and I had a bunch of shots taken together, which was fun. 

Over-all it was a really cool experience.  I can't wait to see the photos.

Let me add in here, that the artist told me I was the answer to all his dreams.  Yes, me.

He now wants to wine-me and dine-me.  In fact he asked how I would deal with his world-wide fame.  Considering he's doing a painting right now for Lionel Ritchie which could ultimately result in me meeting my fashion idol, Nicole....I would deal just fine thank you.

However, he has like 40 years on me.

Could I possibly be that much of a gold digger?

He's invited me out on a date already, I put it off.  So opinions on this would be greatly accepted.  What would you do?! 

Then Monday morning arrived, and with it, a job offer in Yellowstone National Park in MT.

Fucking AMAZEBALLS.

Only the answer to all my dreams, duh.

Small town at the entrance of the national park, cowboys, horses, and wide open spaces = my heart.

They offered slightly more than I'm making now (which with what I make now, I fall deeper and deeper into debt).

They found me an apartment that I could rent on a month-to-month basis, 1 mile from the office, and they even said I could bring my dog to work.

Honestly, hello dream world.

After a week of torment over this decision and ultimate how could I not take this opportunity clarity, I sat down with my Dad to put together a spreadsheet of expenses, etc. to see how it could work.

I have zero savings, a lot of debt & bills, and my parents help me out monthly.

With what this position was offering as a salary, I would be in the exact same financial situation just across the country.

FUCK ME.

I called them today asking for more money.  They can't do it.

I fucking hate being an adult and making "responsible" decisions.

I'm probaly going to be kicking myself in the face for quite a lengthy period of time over this.

Minimally, I need to drink copious amounts of wine.

Immediately.

tornados and turtles.

Yesterday was insane but yet it had started pretty simply.

First I woke up (I suppose that goes without saying) and went to give my dog his heartworm medication (1st of the month, every month!).  Welp, crap.  The box was empty, go figure.  I decided that I would call my vet, pay for one dose since he has his annual appointment this month anyways, and have my sister pick it up on her way home from work since she drives right past.  Easy peasy.

It was miserably muggy & buggy, but I still went for a walk with my dog, got ready for work, and off I went. 

On a side note, I've been rather un-motivated at work this week.  Last week, I actually worked pretty hard and got a number of tasks completed.  This week, totally different story.  I've had it with the desk job crap.

Anyways, at approximately 3:45PM I received a phone call that a tornado watch was in effect and that severe thunderstorms were rolling through.  So I notified the appropriate individuals at work so that students were returned inside and that staff were aware about the upcoming weather.

Suddenly the weather got insane and there were actual reports of tornados!  I was prepared to leave work in the midst of the storm to go get my dog (not a fan of thunder) and make sure we were both safe in my landlord's basement on the chance of a tornado ripping through.  My boss told me this was the worst idea he had ever heard and that I was going to stay put until it passed through.  I called my landlady, who was thankfully home, she went up to my apartment (we more or less have a complete open door policy, her and her husband are more like a second set of parents to me), and brought my dog into her house for me.

I then got a phone call from my sister reporting that the weather was horrendous, she was driving through a huge storm, and wasn't going to risk her life to stop at the vet to pick up my dogs' heartworm medication.  Ok.  Fine.  I will go myself after work. 

The storm that was over-head at work passed.  I left, went home to feed my dog some dinner, and then bring him along for the 40 minute ride to the vet (yes, it's that long of a ride....now see why I asked my sister to pick it up on her way home??).

New weather alerts suggested an additional tornado watch and severe storms headed our way once more.

Well, to hell with it.  I still need heartworm medication for my dog.

So I set off to drive from clear weather in my town to the midst of the storm brewing.  Win.

Of course 2 miles from my house there is a huge turtle (think larger than a basketball size, just not blown up into a ball shape) in the middle of the road.  Right where the road bends, so anyone speeding down the road would hit him. 

I pull over my car and grab a big stick off the side of the road.  I put the stick near his face (I'm not a turtle identifier, so I needed to see if he was a snapper) and the turtle latched on and broke off the end of the stick!  Fantastic, a pissed off snapper, just what I wanted to move on my way to the vet in the middle of a tornado watch.

So I use this long stick to nudge him along.  He grabbed it in the middle and the flippin thing snaps into two pieces.  Clearly I chose a durable stick option.  Everything was soaking wet and it was starting raining again.  I thought to myself "I'll be damned if I have to trek around finding a durable stick to move this ungrateful beast."  So I used the two disintegrating stick pieces to nudge him along.  Only now he decides he's had it with me and takes off beneath my car.  Seriously you ingrate, WTF.

I get myself on the ground and re-position him so that I can pull my car forward without hitting him.  Success on that end.  I then nudge him further to the side of the road into a small stream.  Success, again!

Travel continues.

From the turtle moving location until approximately 15 minutes later, I enter what I call a "no phone zone."  In other words, no cell service area.

Once out of the no phone zone, I have 2 voicemails.  No one calls me, let alone leaves me messages.

I call my voicemail.  First message is from one of my friends' fiance, he has an injured baby bird and he needs some assistance.  Second message is from my friend asking me to help her fiance.

Ok, so I do have several local animal control people's cell phone numbers on speed dial, and the closest wildlife clinic emergency animal center on my phone too....but I'm no Doctor Doolittle.

However, last year, when I let my dog out after work.  He ran outside and put his nose to the ground and at the end of it was a baby bird that couldn't fly.  Now, he didn't do anything to the baby bird, just wanted to be near it (as is usually the case with animals he meets).  I called a local animal control lady that I've spoken to on several occasions for the best course of action. 

It wasn't a baby.  It was a fledgling.  A fledging is a bird at that in-between phase where it's tries to fly, but can't successfully yet, so it often ends up on the ground.

She told me to find the tree with the nest and to re-locate the bird to beneath it, and the Mother would tend to it.  So I grabbed a ladder (mind you I'm in a knee immobilizer-3rd soccer injury aftermath, and a skirt) and I'm climbing up and down the ladder until I located where the nest was.  Then I grabbed my dog's frisbee, slipped the bird onto it, and relocated him.  Went inside and what do you know the bird was fine.

My guess was that this baby bird my friends' fiance was calling about, was a fledgling.  So I called him back to give him the low-down.

He tells me he found it underneath a tree, when he got close the mother was going nuts, but that he thought it was hurt so he caught it and put it in a box and has it inside.

Damn you no phone zone!  This could have been resolved before putting this fledging through this stress!

I ask if the bird has any apparent injuries.  No.  I ask if it appears healthy.  Well yeah, it just couldn't fly.  I ask if he knows where the nest is.  Yeah, the Mother is still out there.

I tell him he needs to go put it back beneath the tree with the nest in it.  I inform him that even if the bird was injured, it's really difficult to find a center that will take general population birds in.  And that I was nearly positive that this was a fledgling, and would be taken care of.

His response: but I just fertilized the lawn.  Me: Well, since it was already on the ground, it's likely it already had contact with the fertilizer.  Him:  well you see I caught it and then fertilized.

WTF, who does that?!

I tell him he needs to get the healthy fledgling outside, near the nest tree, and in a location of minimal or no fertilizer.  He said he would take a picture after release and call me back.

He called me back.  I couldn't get a picture, the second I released him, he took off! 

Phew, animal situation taken care of.

My phone rings again, it's my sister.  I can't believe you are risking your own life for your dog's heartworm.  Well yes, since he is on a monthly cycle, he needs it.  If there appears to be bad weather, I will turn around or find somewhere to go.

I arrive at the vet, get his heartworm, return to the car, and give him the tablet.  He spits it out and it falls underneath the passenger seat.  Of course it does.

As I'm digging around trying to find that gosh darn thing, I mutter to myself: I can't believe I risked life and limb for this, and you are spitting it out....dang nabbit.  Found it, decided to wait for a more appropriate time to give it to him.

On the way home, I decided since I could see the storm in the distance I had time for a quick jog down a trail.  So I did.  There was some pretty fierce lighting going on.

But I found 2 4-leaf clovers.  The first of 2011, so that was a positive thing.

I got back to my car and headed for home.

As I arrived home, I start to hear about more of the devastation of the tornados.  (Here is a brief article on them: MA tornados).  All the power to those dealing with the aftermath and I'm hoping they can keep their spirits up and regroup.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea for me to be traveling around during that time frame.  Although, I guess I successfully moved a snapping turtle, picked up heartworm, went for a jog, and found 2 4-leaf clovers all during a tornado warning.

Suddenly the sky started lighting up around the time it generally gets dark.  By lighting up I mean, the sky was like neon green and then yellow.  Totally freaky. 

I made my dog stay inside, turned on HGTV, and texted a friend asking him to let me know if a tornado was headed my way so I could head into my landpeople's basement.  Thankfully, the storm skirted around us.  Although it did hit other spots.

This morning after my walk while I was getting ready for work, my landlady came over.  Thankfully she yelled up the stairs first because it would have been mighty awkward had she walked right up (I had the door propped completely open to let the breeze in) and found me standing there in my underwear and over-sized tee-shirt (I like to strip out of my tick clothes immediately after a walk!). 

But she told me if I ever get nervous about the weather, I can just sleep over their house in their guest bedroom.

Like I said, second set of parents.  I love having them there.